Excuses Begone - Chapter 1

Immediately after finishing the Introduction you turn the page and see:  "Don't believe everything you think!"  I can attest to the truth of this statement with the existence of outmoded thinking.  Sometimes these beliefs serve us but rarely forever, and many times a belief is meant to serve us by keeping us safe but really it's keeping us in fear's grip so while the intentions are well met the outcome isn't really that desirable!

The first part of the text is entitled:  "Identifying and Removing Habitual Thinking".  The last time that I started this book I got through this part mostly, so I know it's good.  Now I wonder if I can identify more or other thinking that is causing issues!  I love the quote by Lao-tzu shared and will relate it here:

Every human being's essential nature is perfect and faultless, but after years of immersion in the world we easily forget our root and take on a counterfeit nature.

Yes, you can change old habits...


Another quote to share:  "An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie..."  Alexander Pope

Really could it get any more succinct than that?  I'll have to say that this also is all too true and I recall now why I love listening to and reading Dyer's words.  For regardless of how they come to him they are related eloquently and to the point hitting right at the heart of what he's trying to get across to you.  While I won't say he uses flowery language the quotes and specific phrasing he uses to make his meaning clear also wonderfully express his thoughts while also causing you to think!

Removing "old habits die hard" from my phraseology sounds like a really good idea as all this does is make things harder on me.  And as I like to say so poignantly, "Things are never as hard as you make them."  or "Things are only as hard (or easy) as you make them."  Meaning if you think it will be next to impossible - it will be.

To read his words gives me hope as today (and in the most recent times) I have been struggling a lot.  While I know there are excuses laced within my struggling many of them are so insidiously ingrained in my personality and mannerisms that I have a hard time even recognizing when I am using on of them.  They, as with many adults, have become second nature - as automatic as breathing.  So when you reflect on them you know you've breathed (used an excuse) but often times you are not aware of the fact when it's happening.  This also brings up another point.  Awareness of a problem makes it infinitely more manageable!  It's hard to change something you can't "see"!

I noticed as I was reading in the top margin I had written a quote I had heard Dyer (or someone else) say:

Do you live in a hostile or friendly environment?  Albert Einstein

To me this is an ultra important question.  It hearkens back to my statement earlier that "things are only as hard (or easy) as you make them..."  The premise behind it is that if you expect things will be a certain way that's just the way they will be.  You will even seek such circumstances out to "prove" your theory!  And when you search that diligently for negative outcomes and circumstances you will never cease to be disappointed!  It also brings to bear a realization that I am making my life so much harder, with negative thinking and expectations, than it needs to be.  That I am expecting that nothing will work out or that I have to struggle for everything...

I've come to the portion in the chapter where Dyer admits to two separate examples of memes in his life.  Having shared his experiences he poses the question:  Do I really want to hold on to these habitual behaviors that are ultimately capable of making me sick?  While the obvious answer to this question seems to be no, we so often choose otherwise, by use of excuses.  It's funny to reflect upon because quite honestly it's completely counterproductive and serves no good purpose.  And yet...time and time again we fall "victim" to our minds and irrational thoughts and behaviors that we let control us, ceding our control rather than realizing that WE make the decision to feel, act, or be a certain way not the other way around!

Having just finished the first chapter it ended with yet another great quote.  Reflecting on it all I feel more empowered and positive that I can "fix" my life now.  I have had a bit of a rough day and it's been full of stress, fretting and general negativity (including fighting with my other half and desperately worrying about being to get money together for an e-course that will help me establish my businesses and also aid in "fixing" my life).  It sapped my energy thinking and worrying and dealing with this negative energy so much that I actually became tired, like Dyer's example with his tantrum and the resulting stomachache I did something silly and physically paid the consequences for it!



...contemplate yourself being surrounded by the conditions you wish to produce...

Excuses Begone - Introduction

Reading through this I note he mentions another one of his books and in fact the first one that I bought of his - Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life:  Living the Wisdom of the Tao.  As with this one I haven't read it but bought it and even started it with the intention of finishing it, so his mentioning serves as a reminder...I'll set the goal thusly.  I will spend part of Wednesday reading the preliminaries in that text and then move on to the individual "chapters" and reflect on one a day or every few days or something like that.  (Last time I did every few days, giving it time to "sink in" and it seemed to work well.)

There is also a lot of mention of Ego, which reminds me of the thoughts of Evolutionary Reiki, the Ego, and Fear and how they inter-relate.  The Ego fears change and expansion so clings to it's outmoded thinking rather than letting go and releasing.

As I noted in a conversation I had with one of my best friends earlier when I was referencing The Secret and it's explanation of the Law of Attraction, the book does an okay job with explaining the law and how it works but it does not really help to get people to the place where they can really use it.  Namely, while it tells you to "ask, believe, and receive" you must do each of these things from a positive standpoint not just in general.  Doing so with a negative or even neutral mindset will yield mediocre results at best and that's likely one of the main problems people have with the text.  It touches on ways to see that you are being positive or negative by analyzing your feelings but does not help to change those feelings.  And the small amount of advice it offers is the "hard way" with no concrete direction (just try and try again).  Which can obviously and easily leave someone discouraged.

Dyer immediately goes and addresses that his previous work, while good and contemplative merely tells you what to think, but not how to get there from negative thoughts.  Thusly this book's premise.

I know from my conversation that I have a number of negative thought patterns that are based in excuses that I need to work through.

***

Revisiting this reading what catches my attention this time around is the pairings he mentions.  About learning to be soft, flexible, detached, and humble.  It makes me think of when someone tells you you're trying too hard.  Instead of live and let God, you are trying to force things and often this results in you setting barriers and hindrances in your own way.

The other part that really catches my attention is the statement of being content rather than ambitious.  I have a bit of a mental struggle with this when I think of the business research I've been doing lately.  It all focuses around analyzing your market, your competition, and of maximizing your potential.  But I see that in being happy with what one has it allows for more happiness.  When you are ambitious in the general sense of the worse you are saying you need more something or something else, implying that what you have isn't good enough.



...contemplate yourself being surrounded by the conditions you wish to produce...

Setting Out...

The purpose of this blog is for me to explore with my own thoughts and feelings several written works of an inspiratory, motivational, and at times "self-help" nature.  I'll be starting with Wayne Dyer as he's a new favorite of mine and writing my reflections to his words and what I've been doing in regards to them.  At times these thoughts may be reflective and contemplative while other things they may be a direct account of my actions.  I hope that you find solace here and that you enjoy your own personal journey as much as I will enjoy mine!



...contemplate yourself being surrounded by the conditions you wish to produce...